What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 00:20
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
How is Sola Scriptura incoherent?
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
TEXT:
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
What are the strangest parts of The Bible?
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
What are the easiest stores for shoplifting?
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
What are some things you do for your form of self-care?
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Why do people stay in cults after they have joined?
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
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Make Nazis afraid again!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.